Moving Into Healing—Part 1, Body Awareness
“Mr. duffy lived a short distance from his body”—James joyce, novelist
Are you like Mr. Duffy? You wouldn’t be alone in this. So many of us live in this way, more like a mind in a flesh box than fully experiencing and inhabiting our physical bodies. This can show up in little ways like neglecting awareness of our bodies for hours while we work so that we get up to find pain and stiffness has set in and we’re grumpy and unfocused because we haven’t eaten recently, and we better move it to make it the bathroom right this minute. But being chronically out of touch with our bodies can have deep, far-reaching effects as well. One of the things I’m so passionate about as a therapist is the idea that great healing and joy are possible when we bring our whole entire selves to the table—our thoughts, feelings, actions, and our bodies.
self healing starts with self compassion
No matter how much or how little you find yourself living at a short distance from your body, there is probably an incredibly good reason for your experience and I hope that you can appreciate that your body and your brain have been making the best choices they can to try and keep you safe and well. On the whole, our culture puts a lot of effort into getting us to separate ourselves from our bodies. The messages that most of us receive in our culture tell us that our bodies are meant to be disciplined and/or displayed. Go watch very young children play and marvel at the way they inhabit their bodies. Little kids run and laugh and cry with their entire bodies. But we live in a society in which they need to learn quickly that they have to discipline their bodies so that they don’t wiggle and disrupt others at story time, and that there are times when it’s approved of to want to eat or use the bathroom, and that the way they move their bodies to music might look silly to others. All of this is understandable because hard working teachers really need to make sure everyone can hear the story without disruption, and nobody has time to accommodate 27 different meal times a day, and everyone wants to feel like they belong and fit in. But it has an impact and we begin, little by little, to separate ourselves from our bodies. Think about how all the messages we receive during adolescence and adulthood continue to reinforce these ideas that our bodies are meant to be disciplined and/or displayed. Consider all the dollars that are spent on advertising products to control the ways our bodies look and react, or to escape through consuming substances in order to change how we feel. By the time we reach adulthood, how long has it been since we felt fully present and content in our bodies?
For the many folks that have had experiences that have been frightening, painful and traumatic in their bodies, there’s even more of an exceptionally good reason not to spend a lot of time being immersed in the experiences of the body. It doesn’t feel safe. Our brilliant brains set up barriers and protections from having to spend time in a place that can bring up more and more suffering. It’s a genius and loving thing our brains are trying to do for us, trying to keep us separated from what can hurt. Many people have survived terrible experiences because of this ability to separate themselves out from their bodies when it was unbearable to be in them. But what was necessary for survival in the past can then become problematic in other ways later when it can be a disadvantage to have difficulty being in touch with one’s physical body. In these situations, we can honor and appreciate what was so essential and protective before and learn how to safely release what no longer serves us. Therapists that specialize in trauma treatment are brilliant in supporting folks to do this tough but rewarding work.
must be present to win
Most of us want some of the same stuff in life: to experience connection, contentment and joy. But the thing is that to really get the most out of these experiences, we need to be fully present for them—present in the moment, present in our bodies and present in our presence with others. It’s hard to do that well if you don’t really live in your own body. I’m a big fan of thinking and talking things out (see entire professional life as a psychotherapist). But I’m also a true believer in the idea of the body being a pathway to the peace, healing, connection and joy we seek and have experienced profound shifts in my own being through embodied practices and activities. When I was a kid, I never considered myself an athlete because I was a complete failure at every team sport I tried—basically anything with a ball was doomed. But I did love to swim and ski and dance and ride my bike. Later I found rockclimbing and yoga. Yoga was the first time I really experienced and understood that I could positively influence my thoughts and emotions through what I was doing with my body and breath. Whole new possibilities opened up!
Since finding yoga 25 years ago, I’ve been fascinated about the possibilities of including the body in the path of growth and healing, studying qi gong, yoga therapy, ecstatic dance and somatic therapy. I’ll dive deeper into a few of these areas in future posts so please come on back if you’d like to keep exploring this idea some more. First up will be dance because I’m so excited to be returning to lead a transformative dance event, in Takoma Park, Maryland again soon! The pandemic put a big pause on that for me and I’m so thrilled to get to return to this deep and joyful practice with others. In the meantime, some general information about the form of dance I facilitate, JourneyDance, can be found here, in case you might want to give it a whirl for yourself and join in the fun.
INtegrating Mind Body Healing with maryland Therapist
For more information about work that I do regarding integrating the body and mind in treatment in College Park and throughout the state of Maryland, you can read more about that on my pages about mindfulness based therapy and embodied healing. Information about my practice can be found through my home page. Until next time, wishing you all ease and vibrancy in your bodies, minds and lives.
