The 7 Types of Rest, Part 2 (Mental): More Tips From Online Therapy Maryland
What does rest look like to you?
In Part 1 of this blog series on the 7 types of rest (based on the work of Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith), we laid out the extensive menu of options available for rest and took a deeper dive into the first one—physical rest. Today, let’s take a look at another option on that list because it’s not always more physical rest that we really need.
We’ll also look at some of the things that may be tripping us up on our mission to get the rest we desire. But first, let’s back up a minute to make sure we know what we are even talking about when we talk about “rest”.
What Is this “rest” thing you mentioned?
What did you learn about rest and do you still want to believe that?
Seriously though, how are you defining “rest”? What does that mean to you, personally? In the last blog post we talked about physical rest being one out of seven types of rest. So, if it’s not only letting one’s body sleep or chill, what is it?
This could fit a couple different kinds of rest!
My own, newly expanded, definition of rest is “activity that leaves me refreshed and/or relaxed”. Perhaps take a minute and think about this for yourself. How do you know you are rested? What defines “rest” for you?
As you explore this idea, be curious about the messages you received about rest throughout your life. What did you learn about rest, as a child, as a teen or young adult? What were you told, through words and/or actions about rest? Some typical messages many received about rest:
Rest has to be earned
You can’t rest if you want to be the best
There are acceptable and unacceptable kinds of rest
Rest is only after ALL the work is done
Do any of these sound familiar? Take some time and wonder about what messages you learned about rest, and whether or not you want to believe them now. Just because you were told or taught something, doesn’t mean that you have to keep believing in it, if that no longer works for you or aligns with your current goals and desires.
Mental Rest Tips From Your Online Maryland Therapist
Moving along into the second type of rest, let’s talk about mental rest. Have you ever had the annoying experience of having your body physically at rest while your mind continues to race, churn, ruminate, fight against brain fog and do all the things that keep you feeling exhausted and definitely not rested? Yep, me too— and it stinks.
Mental rest is the chance for the mind to settle and find a moment of ease—to be gathered in this time and place instead of fractured and trying to run around here and there. There are some great ways to try and give ourselves some mental rest and you can experiment and see what works well for you.
Mindfulness/meditation practices
Doing one thing at a time instead of multi-tasking
Disconnect from technology and focus on the immediate environment
Go old school and just watch the clouds go by
Journaling
Take small brain breaks throughout the day
The mental load: Barrier to mental rest
A huge barrier to mental rest is the mental load (often especially for mothers and other caregivers). The mental load is the emotional and cognitive work (often “invisible”) that goes into managing a family, a household and relationships. It’s all the planning, anticipating, decision making, scheduling and monitoring that is constantly going on behind the scenes to keep everyone afloat. It’s knowing that there is an early dismissal at school next week so the kids will need care and/or a pickup; that the dog’s medicine needs to be refilled before it runs out by the end of the week; that we have to bring a dish for the potluck on Friday night that can be made on Thursday night because there’s no time for it on Friday; we need to pick up a birthday gift because the kids have been invited to a party this weekend; it’s time to schedule flu shots for everyone; the stuff from the washer needs to move to the dryer before it mildews; and on and on and on forever .
If you are new to the concept of the metal load, or if you really need to feel validated and seen about it, I highly recommend this wonderful comic that lays it out very clearly. To improve our ability to engage in mental rest, we need to make sure that the mental load is balanced fairly in families and households. That is easier said than done. For more support and a step-by-step approach at making a go of this, check out Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. Balancing the mental load in a household, relationship or family is going to require communication and self-advocacy. Remember that all of us need mental rest, and we may have to figure out how to make sure we are getting it.
Take It Easy
Are you willing to see if you could give yourself some mental rest this week? You could try journaling or going for a walk without technology or a few moments of mindful breathing. Or take a few minutes to listen to a song. I happen to love this one from Trevor Hall. I hope you enjoy it too! Check back later for further posts about more of the seven types of rest.
A free consultation For ONline Therapy in Maryland
If you are looking for support, please reach out. I see folks for therapy in College Park, MD and offer online therapy in Maryland. You can explore more information about my services throughout the website. Feel free to contact me for a free 15-minute phone consultation.
