The 7 Types of Rest, Part 5: Social Rest Tips from Online Therapy Maryland
Being mindful about our social interactions can help us connect to ourselves & others.
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to find ourselves drained—not just physically or mentally, but socially. As an online therapist in Maryland, I see this apply to both online and in-person connections. We may not even realize it, but our connections with others play a huge role in how rested we feel. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, in her work on the 7 types of rest, introduces "social rest" as an essential type of rest that helps us recharge (see past blog posts for more about the other types of rest!). Social rest can be particularly challenging because it’s not just about managing time or setting boundaries; it’s about understanding our social needs, discerning relationships that deplete versus those that energize, and taking intentional steps toward replenishment.
If you’re struggling to feel fully rested and find yourself drained from social interactions, exploring social rest might be useful to you. Read on to explore what social rest is, why it matters, and how online therapy in Maryland can support you in finding meaningful social rest to lead a more balanced life.
Social rest to help connect with ourselves and each other
Which social interactions nourish you and which ones deplete you? Choose wisely! .
Social rest is about being recharged and uplifted by our relationships instead of being drained. It involves engaging in interactions that fill us with positivity and limit the ones that cause stress or emotional exhaustion. Dr. Dalton-Smith explains that social rest isn’t just about withdrawing from people or limiting interactions; it’s about discerning which relationships nourish us and which ones deplete us. Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of interacting with someone, only to find yourself more exhausted and worn out than before? Have you allowed that experience to help change the choices you make about social interactions moving forward?
Social rest also involves recognizing the different layers of relationships in our lives—family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances—and understanding the roles they play in our social energy. For example, social rest might look like reducing interactions with people who drain you while increasing time with friends who truly "get" you. Unlike solitude, social rest involves connection rather than disconnection; it’s about spending time with people who allow you to be fully yourself. But like solitude, this can also help you connect to yourself.
We all need sunlight, water, nourishment, and positive connections with others.
Why Social Rest matters in our digitally-connected world
In the age of digital media and constant connectivity, we’re more "connected" than ever, but often in superficial ways. There’s not a lot of depth in our relationships if we are just reading updates about our friends on a social media feed. Many of us find ourselves feeling drained by interactions that lack true meaning or intimacy. Social rest matters because our brains and hearts need nourishing, meaningful connections to stay emotionally and mentally well. Social rest helps to:
Replenish Emotional Energy: Meaningful connections allow us to feel validated, supported, and understood, which can counteract feelings of loneliness or emotional burnout.
Reduce Feelings of Isolation: Even if we’re always connected online, we can feel isolated without genuine social interactions. Social rest helps bridge the gap between "always connected" and truly connected. There’s a difference between knowing from social media that your friend went through a breakup versus hearing how they have been feeling about this change and how they are doing.
Promote Mental Health: Having an intentional social rest plan can reduce feelings of social fatigue and anxiety, leaving you better equipped to face life’s daily challenges.
Finding social rest means identifying which relationships fill you up, and which ones may be draining, and taking action to choose wisely and seek more fulfilling connections. Therapy can be an invaluable resource here, as it provides a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your relationship dynamics and social needs (and perhaps some challenges you might have in implementing useful changes).
Signs You might need social rest
Social fatigue can manifest in many ways. You might notice that after a long day of interacting with coworkers, family, or even social media, you feel emotionally exhausted. You might notice that this post is appearing during the November/December holiday season—prime time for being on the lookout for social rest needs. Here are some signs that social rest may be exactly what you need:
You Feel Overwhelmed by Social Obligations: If attending social events, meeting new people, or engaging in group activities leaves you feeling overwhelmed, social rest could be helpful.
You Experience “People-Pleasing” Fatigue: Constantly putting others’ needs ahead of your own can be incredibly draining. This might be common in personal/social/family relationships or even at work.
Social Media Burnout: Excessive social media engagement can create a false sense of connection and lead to emotional exhaustion. Social media fatigue is a real phenomenon that can sap your social energy, even if the intention going into the time spent on social media is the opposite!
You Struggle to Connect Authentically: Feeling like you have to put on a “social mask” or avoid authentic interactions could be a sign that your social needs are not being met in a fulfilling way. These inauthentic interactions can be more draining than they are worth sometimes.
Constantly “On” in Relationships: If you feel like you’re always the one helping, giving advice, or showing up, and there’s no reciprocity, you may be experiencing social drain. Of course there are always periods of time in long relationship where one person takes the lead more than the other. It can be good to be generous during tough periods for someone when they can’t give as much, especially if there have been periods in the relationship when you’ve been the one to receive more.
Recognizing the signs is the first step toward cultivating more intentional and fulfilling social connections.
Practical Strategies for cultivating social rest
Achieving social rest doesn’t mean cutting ties with people entirely; it’s about setting boundaries and cultivating a social environment that energizes rather than depletes you. Here are some ways to start integrating social rest into your life:
Identify Relationships That Bring Joy and Energy: Start by evaluating your social interactions. Which people in your life uplift you and make you feel understood? Try to prioritize these relationships and create more opportunities for connection with them. Adult social relationships take ongoing time and effort to maintain so invest in these positive connections.
Set Healthy Boundaries with Draining Relationships: Recognize relationships that cause stress or feel like an obligation. It’s okay to limit interactions with people who leave you feeling emotionally exhausted. Setting boundaries might mean saying no to social invitations that don’t align with your needs, or limiting the time you spend in these interactions. Perhaps a visit works well for coffee instead of a whole evening.
Create Time for Authentic, Face-to-Face Connections: When possible, engage in face-to-face interactions with people who bring you joy. These moments can be simple—a coffee date with a close friend or a heartfelt conversation with a family member. Authentic, in-person connections often allow for deeper, more fulfilling exchanges. Online connections were vital during the pandemic and can still be useful when we don’t have the chance to be together in-person but try to find time for in-person connections when possible.
Seek Out Social Spaces with Shared Interests: Sometimes, finding a group with shared interests can provide a new source of social rest. Engaging with like-minded people can ease the pressure to impress or perform, allowing you to relax and be yourself. There are often community groups available for all kinds of interests—try one out!
Use Social Media Intentionally: Social media is a double-edged sword; it can connect us or drain us. Limit your time on platforms that leave you feeling stressed, and focus on interactions that genuinely uplift you. If it’s hard to step back from this, even when you want to, consider apps that you can have block sites for specified amounts of time or even decide to leave those platforms altogether.
Consider Online Therapy for Social Support: Online therapy in Maryland can be a fantastic support system if you’re navigating social rest challenges. Therapy can help you set boundaries, recognize relationship dynamics that no longer serve you, and guide you toward fulfilling connections.
Prioritize Time Alone to Reconnect with Yourself: Social rest also involves creating time to be alone and reflect on your own needs and values. Regularly spending time alone allows you to recharge, so you can approach relationships from a place of abundance rather than burnout.
How Online therapy In Maryland can help you improve your social rest
Many people struggle with setting boundaries or identifying relationships that drain versus those that recharge. In Maryland, online therapy offers a unique opportunity to work on these aspects of social rest in a safe, supportive space. Working with a therapist, you can explore:
Building Confidence in Social Boundaries : Therapy helps you understand your social needs and gives you the tools to establish boundaries without guilt.
Improving Communication Skills : If social exhaustion stems from people-pleasing or taking on too much responsibility, therapy can help you build assertiveness and clear communication skills, and figure out what you need to be giving to yourself.
Understanding Your Social Style : Some people thrive in large groups, while others feel rejuvenated in one-on-one interactions. Therapy can help you understand what types of social interactions are most restful for you. It’s a bit of an extrovert’s world out there, and introverts might need reminders that they way things work best for us isn’t less than or second best.
Navigating Difficult Relationships: If certain relationships feel draining or even toxic, online therapy provides a supportive space to discuss these dynamics and develop strategies to make empowered choices and protect your energy.
By investing in social rest and seeking support through online therapy, you can foster healthier, more meaningful relationships that leave you feeling connected and energized, rather than drained and depleted.
Embracing social rest for a balanced and connected life
Social rest is essential in our search for a balanced, fulfilling life. While it might seem counterintuitive, taking a step back from draining relationships or setting boundaries can actually deepen the connections that matter most. As Dr. Dalton-Smith suggests, finding the right mix of interactions that uplift rather than deplete you is a form of self-care that supports mental, emotional, and social well-being.
If you’re feeling socially fatigued and struggling to find rest, consider online therapy in Maryland as a valuable resource. Therapy can help you explore your social needs, establish boundaries, and create a roadmap for nurturing the relationships that matter most. Prioritizing social rest doesn’t mean giving up on people; it means choosing to invest in relationships that foster connection, understanding, and joy.
A free consultation For ONline Therapy in Maryland
If you are looking for support on this topic or anything else related to your mental health, please reach out. I see folks for therapy in College Park, MD and offer online therapy in Maryland. You can explore more information about my services throughout the website. Feel free to contact me for a free 15-minute phone consultation.
