Even Good Transitions Can Be Hard: True Confessions From a Maryland Therapist
Even happy transitions like a graduation can be stressful and hard..
‘Tis the season of graduations, moving up ceremonies, many weddings, and all kinds of other positive transitions that make up some of the milestones of life. Yes, these are usually good transitions that we’ve looked forward to for a while. But that doesn’t mean that they are always easy or stress-free. Even the most joyous of transitions can be stressful and hard.
The double whammy of that can be that many folks end up feeling guilt and shame around this, making a complicated situation even harder. They wonder, “Why can’t I just be happy about this good thing?” or “Am I ruining this for everyone else now?”
Constant Change Is Here to stay
My clinical supervisor at my first therapist job out of graduate school used to say that: “Constant change is here to stay”. She was not wrong. That’s the only thing that seems permanent—that everything is always changing and evolving. This can be great news and it can also be terrifying and terrible news, all at the same time.
Happy occasion transitions all have their very own stressors, just due to the reality of change. Here’s an incomplete list of some of the positive transitions that can also be really hard:
Graduations and moving up ceremonies
Moving in with someone
Getting married
Pregnancy
Having a baby/ adopting a child
Starting a new job/internship/placement
Changing careers
Moving
Buying a home
Retiring
Launching your child and starting the empty nest phase of life
These can be wonderful milestones in life but they absolutely come with challenges. To start something new is to end something else. To embark on a new chapter means stepping into the unknown, which can be exciting but also nerve-wracking and difficult. It’s ok to give yourself some space and time to have a fluctuating set of feelings around big changes.
True Confessions time from a maryland therapist
Mid-transition can be tough—you’ve committed to the leap but haven’t made to to the other side yet.
I’ve had the good fortune to be reminded of these truths about transitions and change in my own life recently. For the first three years of my therapy career, I worked in a residential setting. Then I joined a group practice for a couple of years. Then, I branched out on my own into private practice, subleasing some part-time office space. I had the amazing luck of being able to sublease that space for 17 years. Wow!
But things eventually change, the space was sold and I had to find a new spot. I was lucky enough to find another office right nearby that could sublease me some space once a week. Great! Saying goodbye to an office I had known for 17 years was weird but I was thankful to have figured out how to make the change fairly easily. But that didn’t last long. This new place would only be available for a year, since the leaseholder of the suite was going to be leaving the area. Not great. More change.
Welcome! My College Park, MD therapy office is open.
Now it was time for a much bigger change. It was time for me to lease my own office, instead of trying to find another subleasing option. While this was an exciting, new chapter, it also came with a lot of unknowns, a lot of work, and a lot of not so simple things that I had to figure out (side eye to you, county permitting and inspection office). Work/life balance took a hit for a while to get all of those pieces in place in my off hours. Not everything worked out neatly. It wasn’t always feeling like a good thing. I did not always want to be making this change.
But, somehow, things have happened! I have my new office and I’m excited to welcome clients into this space. Hopefully people will find it a comfortable and comforting place, with plenty of light, comfortable seating, art, books, tea and room for movement or meditation. I aim for it to be a small refuge for everyone who enters; a place filled with compassion, kindness and hope.
A free consultation For Maryland Therapy
If you are looking for support, please reach out. I see folks for therapy in College Park, MD and offer online therapy in Maryland. You can explore more information about my services throughout the website. Feel free to contact me for a free 15-minute phone consultation.
