Thawing the Freeze Response: Tips From a Maryland Anxiety Therapist
Sometimes we get so overwhelmed that we freeze up and have a hard time functioning.
Hey, folks! I’ve been working on that final blog post in the series on the 7 types of rest but then all this (waves wildly at world at large) happened, and it’s going to have to wait a bit longer. As a Maryland anxiety therapist, I am seeing a lot of overwhelm and distress (understandably so).
Remember that when our nervous system gets activated, it has a few different response options: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. For a much more detailed description of all of these and information about trauma responses, see this earlier blog post.
Today I want to specifically look at the freeze response. What it is, what it might look like, and—most importantly—what you can do to help yourself TODAY, if this is happening to you (or someone you love). There are things you can do, on your own, for free, without any training or expertise, to help yourself move out of the freeze response if you have gotten stuck there. What I would really like is to be able to stop the overwhelming and frightening things that are activating this response. But, personally, I am not able to do that so what I can offer are tools for you and my support. When we are out of freeze we can make wise choices about moving forward.
What is the freeze response?
Let’s take a look inside the freeze and see what’s happening and what’s possible.
Even if you think you already know this part, stick with me here because it can be helpful to hear things again and you might see something new.
As mentioned above, the freeze response is one of the options that the sympathetic nervous system has when it gets activated. A really important thing to note is that this is an automatic response. It’s not a logical decision. If the nervous system feels like it’s entirely overwhelmed and/or the threat is too large to fight or escape, it can freeze. It’s a survival instinct. It’s the “don’t even move a muscle” automatic response to overwhelming and imminent danger.
Now, this might be really incredibly important in a fleeting moment of imminent danger when staying completely frozen allows you to remain undetected until the danger has gone. But, our sympathetic nervous system can get sticky when the stress goes on a long time, and can get stuck in the “on” position, even if the danger eventually passes (this can happen for all reponses—fight, flight or freeze).
What does freeze look/feel like?
Remembering that the freeze state is an automatic response in the whole nervous system, we’re likely to see symptoms of a freeze state in various parts of the body, since they are all linked to the nervous system. Here are some signs:
We have tools to help melt the freeze. There are things you can try today.
Feeling cold or numb
Heaviness or stiffness in the limbs
Breath holding
Shallow breathing
Heart rate and blood pressure slow
Hypervigilence
Emotional numbness
Feeling disconnected from self and others
Feeling immobilized
Dilated pupils
Muscle tension
Confusion/difficulty thinking clearly
This is not a 100% comprehensive list but gives you a starting place to check in and see if any of this looks familiar. You might be having a hard time making decisions, taking action or moving forward with tasks. It’s being STUCK all around.
Thawing the freeze: Guidance from a Maryland Anxiety therapist
First things first: If you are having a freeze response (or recognize that you have in the past), please be kind to yourself about this. Please do not blame or judge yourself for this. Please do think that fight or flight was “better”. This was something that clicked over automatically in your nervous system. That’s not to say that our nervous system doesn’t make mistakes—it does (like when I jump back from the stick I THOUGHT was a snake)! But it’s on your team. It has some very limited, very basic avenues for protecting you and makes snap decisions that are completely outside the realm of logical thought. It is doing the best with what resources it has, at lightning speeds. So, if you recognize that you are in, or have been in, a freeze state: thank your nervous system for trying to do the best it can and try to let go of any sort of judgment you may have been carrying about this.
Next, let’s get this freeze thawing. We are going to come at this from a “bottom-up” approach—we’re going to use the body itself to send the signals of safety instead of trying to use logic or reasoning to try and change this (the logic cabinet is kind of locked up a bit, like an actually frozen lock, in this state so if we can thaw out a bit, that will automatically open and logic will join us later to move things along). By the way, this will also help if you are in fight or flight. Everyone can give this a try. We need to get the body moving. This is stuff you can do with no training and for zero dollars. Here are five things you can try today:
Try Voo Breathing: This a breathing technique from Dr. Peter Levine that can help increase feelings of calm and safety, by stimulating the vagus nerve (you don’t have to care what that means in order for this to be helpful). Insight Timer is a free app that has lots of great guided meditations, music and more. Check out this Insight Timer blog post by Rebecca Ward about the technique. There’s a description and a free guided meditation with it, with the free app download.
The Butterfly Hug: This very gentle, rhythmic movement is frequently used as part of EMDR, a specialized technique that is very effective with trauma treatment. It’s a grounding technique that can help settle the nervous system. Here’s a very short YouTube video that will guide you along in using it.
Focus On The Fine Points: Pick something in your environment that you can explore with your senses—the senses of sight and touch are super helpful here for a lot of folks. Choose something that is interesting to you at this moment. Now, hyperfocus on it. See every single, little detail. Stay with it. Notice light and shadow, color, movement, variability, everything. Focus your attention like a laser on the sense of touch as you explore an object—all textures, temperatures, variations, details. Take your time. Thinking and sensing are hard to do at the same time so really focusing on sensing can allow the mind and nervous system to settle down.
Practice Self-Compassion: If you are in a freeze state, you have been going through a hard time. Something frightening or difficult has been happening. You deserve care and compassion. The freeze state can leave us feeling numb and disconnected. Self-compassion practices can help us start to warm up and make our way back to ourselves kindly. Kristin Neff is the queen of self-compassion research and teaching. She generously provides a menu of free, guided practices on her website.
Move Your Body: Once you are able to thaw out enough to feel like you can get your whole body moving, do so. This can be anything that feels good to your body. It might be a gentle, rhythmic walk, or some easy movements of the arms and legs as you breathe in and out—swaying, rocking, bouncing, or you might want to pick up the pace and move a little more vigorously if that feels good to you. Again, try to stay mindfully aware of your breath and body as you are moving. If you start to get lost in your thoughts, come back to focusing on movement. You can heighten your sensation awareness by safely intensifying feelings to the point that it gets your attention (make and hold a strong fist, stamp your feet strongly on the ground, lean into a stretch to the point where you know you’ve found that “edge” of deep sensation without pain).
A free consultation with a maryland Anxiety therapist
If you are looking for support for anxiety or other stress reactions, please reach out. I see folks for therapy in College Park, MD and offer online therapy in Maryland. You can explore more information about my services throughout the website. Feel free to contact me for a free 15-minute phone consultation.
